On the Edge of Sanity
by amianfan102
Summary: For Gone Angel's "Madness and Insanity Contest". Sinead wakes up in a place claiming to be a mental hospital. However, it couldn't be more obvious to her that it's really a Vesper camp intent on driving her to a breaking point, logic backed up by the doctor's claims that the Cahills are no more than a dream. But when you're on the edge of sanity, what can you really be sure of?


**On the Edge of Sanity**

Sinead opened her eyes to a blinding light and the words, "_Final try. It's now or never," _whispering through her ears.

A buzzing sound filled her hearing and her entire field of view was consumed by the stunningly white light that shone above her head. She scrunched up her face, feeling groggy, the cold metal of whatever uncomfortable thing she was lying on making her shiver. A moment later, the buzzing died down and left a resounding silent echo in her mind.

Sinead propped herself up on her elbows, swaying precariously as she finally took in the scene around her. Three people dressed in long, white coats and face-masks that covered their mouths were standing on the far side of the empty room. The room itself was silver, tinny, and desolate looking, with nothing but metal walls and a thick black carpet on the floor. They, meaning the doctor-ish looking people, were standing in front of a mirror that was undoubtedly showing the room off to another group of watchers.

"Where'm I?" Sinead slurred, feeling extremely confused. The last thing she remembered had been sending a message to Ian in the Command Center as Amy ranted on about one thing or another. Had she been in an accident?

The tallest person, a young guy who must've been at least six-foot five with sandy brown hair, stepped towards her carefully with his arms out in a universal greeting of peace. He spoke slowly and deliberately as he removed the mask from his face and let it hang around his wrist. "Do you know who I am, Sinead?"

Her senses started returning then, along with some of her famously biting sarcasm. "No, actually, but if you three imbeciles could be so kind as to tell me where I am it would really make my day!"

Sandy-hair smiled like he would to a child. "You're at Sisoh Cysp hospital in Boston, Massachusetts. You've been a patient here for two years."

The words didn't faze Sinead in the slightest. Then, an awful thought struck her like a slap to the face. "Very funny. Are you three Vespers?"

Then, she realized she was on an operating table. She screamed and threw herself off of it, landing next to the wall in a cat-like crouch. "What did you do to me?"

Sandy-hair's eyes widened and he signaled something with his left hand to the other members of his trio. "Vespers, Sinead? And do you honestly not remember anything about me? My name is Doctor Carter Japson, I've been your friend since you've arrived here."

Sinead's heart was pounding about as quickly as a humming bird's as she snarled, "A doctor? I haven't been to a hospital since the bombing in Philly. Where do you think I got these scars from?"

She thrust out her forearm which was lined with unfamiliar scars, too large and thick and deliberate to be the ones from the accident. Confusion flooded her mind as she stared at them in shock. Where had her small, rugged looking scars gone?

"Sinead, there was never a collapse at the Franklin Institute," Doctor Carter Japson soothed. "Those scars - they're from when you used to cut yourself, before moving here."

Heart thrumming in her ears she whispered, "What are you talking about? Where's Ian? And Evan? And where's the Command Center?"

Doctor Carter looked straight into her eyes as he replied, "Sinead, the Vespers and the Cahills do not exist."

Sinead heard the exclamation of surprise in the doctors' shouts as black covered her vision and she collapsed onto the floor.

**~lovelovelove~**

Simply enough, she just woke up. Her mind was still foggy from the bizarre dream she had while sleeping. Eyes still closed, Sinead remembered the seriousness of Doctor Carter Japson's voice as he told her that life as she knew it didn't exist.

She yawned widely and stretched her arms out, popping her shoulder in the process. What an odd dream. Then, she opened her eyes.

And screamed.

The room around her was completely white. White walls, white carpet, closet doors, white sheets and comforter, and even a white night-gown. Vision blurring, Sinead leapt out of bed, her bare feet hitting the carpet with a thud. With dragging limbs, she pulled herself towards the pristine white door.

Suddenly, it shot open, startling her back onto the sterile bed.

Doctor Carter Japson stood there, his mouth opened in a stunning white smile that matched the room. Sinead realized he was young, no more than twenty-three. His sandy-brown hair was short and soft looking, a look that suited his chocolate-brown eyes. "Hello, Sunshine!" he told her, walking in without an invitation. The black of his work-shoes seemed to stick out like a beacon. With a sly glance he asked, "Remember that nickname?"

Sinead shook her head vigorously, already beginning to hyperventilate. "What are you talking about? Why am I still here? When is this nightmare going to end?"

His face honestly sympathetic, Doctor Carter said, "Sinead, I'm afraid this isn't a nightmare. This is your life. It has been your entire life. The past two years you've spent here where your family thought you'd be safer."

"Why," Sinead rasped. "Would I be in an asylum?"

Doctor Carter hummed sadly. "Not an asylum, Sinead, a Mental Care Facility. I'm going to be rather forward with you though. Are you prepared to hear this?"

Without a second thought, Sinead nodded. "Yes, I have an IQ of 182, I'm sure I can handle anything you throw at me." Her jaunt was supposed to sound sarcastic, but it just sounded sad to her.

He swallowed, not nervously, but in a way that made her feel as though he honestly though he was going to upset her. "Sinead, you were brought to the Sisoh Cysp Mental Care Facility two years ago by your family. They were terrified of you. You used to cut yourself and pray to the devil to make the world end. You used to threaten your parents and brothers that you would kill them and use them as sacrifices." His eyes were big, brown, and mournful as he finished, "You'd talk about how the world hated you and how your friends told you about other places that were better."

Sinead felt her stomach do backflips...in her throat. There was no way this was true, no way at all. Then, a thought struck her. This was like a dream within a dream! As confusing as Inception perhaps, but a dream nonetheless. "You're lying," she said matter-of-factly. "This is a dream."

Doctor Carter's face fell and he looked completely crest-fallen. "Sinead, you have to understand. We helped you to the best of our abilities but it always came back to surgery - brain surgery. This is the third and final time we're able to try this. If you don't come to and realize your problems something very bad is going to happen to you."

Sinead's mouth felt dry as a flash of...something crossed through her mind. Shadows danced along a red wall as someone chanted monotonously in the background. Her hair felt like it was standing on end as a wave of utter satisfaction crept over her at the vision-like-image she had just received.

Still, she shook her head. "My life is back at the Command Center. I don't know who you are or what I'm doing here - I'm a college graduate level seventeen year old who's traveled the world and done more than you could ever hope to in your life time. This is not my life."

Doctor Carter's eyes filled with anguish, an impossibly deep sadness that filled his entire body. "Please," he whispered, taking her hand. "Just try to remember me."

"I don't," Sinead snapped, yanking her hand away and wondering why Doctor Carter was being so adamant about her remembering him. "I don't remember you at all. I don't know your age, your favorite things, why you became a doctor, why you're taking such an interest in me! I know nothing! And it's because I'm not an idiot! I know that this is all just an elaborate set up by the Vespers!"

He stood up from the bed. "If you honestly want to know I'm twenty-two, I became a doctor because I wanted to help people like you, and my favorite thing?" Doctor Carter let out a heavy breath as he walked to the door. "That's something you should be able to remember with time. Lunch is being served now if you'd like not to starve."

Without another word, he shut the door carefully, removing all traces of having been there. Sinead sat on the bed in shock, unable to comprehend what she had just heard. Why was she acting like this!?

Under normal circumstances she'd be coming up with a plot to free herself from wherever the Vespers were keeping her. But for whatever reason she had no thoughts worthy of being used to get herself out of there. Sinead closed her eyes tightly, pulling herself up into a ball at the head of the bed. _What is that formula I've been working on? _she thought desperately.

Nothing profound came to her; nothing that would help her in the situation. A sudden gasp of fear left her mouth as she realized what must have happened. "They operated on my brain!" she whispered angrily, tears beginning to pour out of her eyes.

**~lovelovelove~**

Sinead was sitting in a rather gray-looking cafeteria at a small round table with a tray of food in front of her. Tables were spread throughout the room which had one entrance and exit; a large open arch that led into a hallway. Other "patients" in this so-called hospital shuffled through the entrance and into the food line where the people who "worked" there were serving lunch.

Feeling superior, Sinead took a bite of the whole-grain bread that was slathered with way too much butter. A glass of milk was sitting on the edge of her plate along with a sizeable plastic bowl of multi-colored pills. Her eyes darted across the room, weary of everyone and everything that was going on.

The "patients" (The Vespers sure were going through a lot to make her believe this) were all dressed in the same type of clothes; gray sweatpants that cinched at the ankles and light blue t-shirts made of some cheap cotton. The shoes were simple slipper-like things that Sinead had realized would be no help in running away. Everyone looked happy enough, despite the occasional crazies who kept looking over their shoulders and whispering to themselves.

As she took a hesitant sip of her milk - completely disregarding the pills - there was a strange noise behind her that sounded a bit like a hiss. Dropping the glass back down onto the tray she whirled around and found herself face-to-face with none other than Amy Cahill.

"Amy!" she exclaimed, trying to wrap her in a hug.

Amy stepped out-of-the-way of the oncoming embrace and whispered, "Sinead, I'm here to help you get out of here."

"Thank God," Sinead whispered back. "I thought I was going insane. What's the plan?"

"First thing's first, you can't tell anyone you saw me, even Doctor Hottie over there." Amy jerked her head in the direction of the door-way where Doctor Carter had just walked in. "Second, you need to get one of those plastic knives and find a way to get it back to your room."

Sinead snorted at the mention of Doctor Carter, instead choosing to focus on the part about the knives. "And why do I need knives?"

Amy scoffed meanly. "I thought you were smarter than that, Sinead. Just trust me."

Feeling hurt, she replied angrily, "They operated on my brain! Everything is so average to me; I have none of the skills I'm used to having. Excuse my ignorance."

Her friend shook her head in exasperation and waved a hand carelessly. "Whatever. I'll meet you in your room."

"How did you ever get in?" Sinead asked in surprise as she turned to the table to make sure no one was watching.

There was silence.

"Amy?" Sinead questioned, turning around on her chair. But there was no one there; just empty space where her friend had been.

She shook her head and went to throw out the tray. This place was screwing with her head.

**~lovelovelove~**

Sinead sat in her room with Amy, a white plastic knife sitting on the white carpet. Her blue shirt stood out like Doctor Carter's shoes had, glaringly different in the spotless room.

Amy was dressed in her normal jeans and a green shirt, dirty sneakers somehow not messing up the carpet. She was sitting Indian style across from Sinead who was leaning against the wall.

"So what do we have to do?" Sinead asked, picking up the knife and turning it around.

The people who "worked" here were so paranoid about her cutting herself that in order to get the knife out of the cafeteria she had to stick it into the side of her slipper with the end poking out. It wasn't like she'd use it to cut herself! The plastic was too dull.

"Well," Amy told her. "You have to cut yourself. It helps."

Sinead quirked an eyebrow as she heard the very words she had just been thinking were impossible. "Why? That's so stupid! And if you're in here, why can't you just get me out? This knife isn't even sharp enough!"

Her friend waved her hand again in a gesture of "Just go with it!"

Sinead huffed impatiently. "Look, it's not going to help."

Amy glared daggers at her. "If I say it will help, it will help!"

Throwing her arms into the air in exasperation, Sinead yanked the knife off the ground and held it to her wrist. The tiny pricks of plastic tickled her wrist as she held it there loosely before she pressed it farther into her skin. It hurt, but it wasn't cutting. Sinead was suddenly faced with the fact that if she pressed any harder, she was going to begin bleeding.

"This won't help," she said, quickly throwing the knife to Amy. It fell to the ground next to it and Amy pointed at it.

"Do it, Sinead." Her eyes narrowed teasingly as she whispered, "I know you want to."

As though controlled by an outside force, Sinead picked it up and took a deep breath, pressing it to her skin. She dug it in, the pinches of pain making her tense up. It got harder and harder to do it on her own will. Finally, it pierced her skin, making her gasp. Fiery hot pain poured out of the wound with the salty red blood.

"Good job," Amy said, smirking at her as Sinead's eyes widened. "How do you feel?"

Sinead was suddenly more aware of everything than she had been in a long time. "Amazing," she gasped out, clarity commingling in her system. "How will this help?"

"It'll put you on edge," Amy replied. "Next up, we have to get rid of Doctor Hottie."

For some reason, Sinead was put off by this. Something in her heart was screaming at her about one thing or another. "Do you mean kill him?" she asked as she pulled on a black sweatshirt over her shirt. It covered up the cut so she wouldn't have to look at it.

Amy grinned and nodded eagerly. "But first I need you to get close to him. Get him to tell you what he knows about the other Vespers."

"Get close to him?" Sinead repeated in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You know." She rolled her eyes. "Get close to him. He obviously has the hots for you. In fact - "

Suddenly, the door was flung open. Sinead blinked in surprise and went to yell for Amy to get out of there, only to find that her friend had disappeared. Doctor Carter was standing in the doorway, a smile on his handsome face.

"Hello, Sinead. How has your day been? Remember anything?" he asked in a kind voice while sitting down on Sinead's bed.

"I'm fine." Sinead then remember what Amy had told her. She took a deep breath and shut the door softly. "Sorry, I just feel paranoid today. Must have something to do with waking up and realizing that your whole life has been a lie."

"I understand, Sunshine. Don't worry. But honestly, you only manifest that world in your mind every few months after you go to sleep. Last time we got you lucid it was no more than three months before you woke up one morning and were convinced you were working with the Cahills," Doctor Carter explained. "I'm glad you're coming around quickly."

"There is one thing I remember from...before," Sinead said, lacing her voice with hurt. "But you can't laugh at me. I'm not sure if it's a real memory or if it was just something I wanted."

Doctor Carter nodded and asked, "What's wrong, Sinead? You can tell me anything; it's part of my job as your doctor."

Focusing on the pain in her arm to make light tears spring to her eyes as she sat down next to him on the bed. She put her head in her hands and mumbled, "It was you. I had a crush on you and in my head you liked me back. But if I'm as insane as everyone says I am I figured it was just my mind playing tricks on me."

Sinead was certain she could feel his surprise as he put his arm around her shoulders. Much to her shock he said softly, "That wasn't all in your head, Sinead. I wanted to tell you but I didn't want to scare you."

Gaping, Sinead looked at Doctor Carter. "You're serious?"

He nodded solemnly. "Yes, I am. The only other people who knew about our relationship were my friend Doctor James Way and your friend Marie Jacobs."

"Who's Marie Jacobs?" Sinead asked, feeling her heart beat quicker. Why did that name sound so familiar to her?

Carter (Sinead dropped the Doctor part in her head) twisted his mouth into a frown - a look that really didn't suit him - and said, "She was released from the hospital a year ago. She was your room-mate and here for extreme depression."

"What did she look like?" Sinead questioned further. An image suddenly struck her of a girl who looked oddly like Amy Cahill who had just been in her room. "Average height with green eyes and auburn hair?"

Carter's eyes lit up in ecstasy and he grinned. "You remember her! You two could've been sisters. Both of you were so sad to say good-bye when she left."

Sinead shook her head to herself and reminded herself that she was dealing with very manipulative Vespers. They were purposely screwing with her head. "Carter," Sinead said. "Do you think I could be alone for the rest of the day? I just feel a bit overwhelmed with everything."

Carter nearly flew off the bed in an effort to get out of her way. He was grinning in an understanding but happy way as he said, "Of course! I'll be in tomorrow morning with your medicine. You'll have to start taking it again if you want any help."

"Bye, Carter!" Sinead said, waving.

When he left, all Sinead could feel was pure anger. She wasn't sure at whom or what or even why, but for some reason she just felt angry. And who the hell was Marie Jacobs and why was she affecting her so much!?

"I thought he'd never leave," exclaimed a voice from behind Sinead's shoulder.

She turned around while quivering in anger only to see Amy there. "I can't believe he's playing right into our trap," Sinead said to her as she sat down on the bed. "Why is he agreeing that he used to be in a relationship with him."

Amy tutted sympathetically and shook her head. "I told you, he has the hots for you. He's cute, I'll give him that, but dumb. The idiot Vesper actually believes that you're falling for the trick!"

Sinead fell back on the bed, curling up in the blanket. Her wrist was beginning to throb painfully and when she pulled the sweatshirt sleeve back with a hiss of pain, it was already scabbing over.

"Am I going to have to do this again?" Sinead questioned quietly without looking at Amy.

There was silence.

She looked up and frowned, seeing as how her friend had disappeared again. With a sigh she got off the bed, grabbed the knife, and surrounded herself in the white comforter again. "Yeah. I think I will have to do this again," Sinead confirmed to herself, putting the knife to her skin and pushing.

It didn't hurt as bad by the fifth time.

**~lovelovelove~**

Days passed in a blur of morning, pill taking, talking to Carter, skipping breakfast, day dreaming and humming to herself and occasionally cutting, eating a small lunch, talking to Carter, day dreaming and humming and occasionally cutting herself, eating a piece of bread for dinner, taking more pills, talking to Carter, and sleeping.

It was all rather repetitive in the sense that it was the same thing over and over, but for some reason, Sinead didn't tired of it. About a week into her new schedule (or old as the Vespers insisted) Amy reappeared during one of Sinead's day dreaming sessions.

"Where did you go?" she snapped, pulling herself out of a day-dream where she woke up and realized this whole thing had been a nightmare. "You've been gone for a week."

Amy waved her hand in a noncommittal way. "I've been busy with Cahill things. And besides, it seems as though Doctor Hottie has been keeping you busy enough. You talk to him - what? - two or three times a day?"

Sinead flushed and mumbled, "He's easy to talk to."

"He's easy to talk to," Amy repeated in a mocking tone, rolling her eyes and lacing her words with sarcasm. "Have you found anything out about the Vespers that will be useful in getting you out of here?"

She shook her head and leaned against the bed frame while staring at Amy. "We don't really talk about stuff that's serious. He just makes me laugh."

"He makes you laugh?" Amy intoned. Then she scoffed. "Laughing is for weaklings. Think about our training, Sinead! Next step is finding some candles and a few matches to use to light them."

"Candles? Why do we need candles?" Sinead asked in confusion. "And there's no way the Vespers are going to willingly hand over a pack of matches to me."

"Just get them!" Amy hissed. "And do it quick. I'll be back when you do."

"You'll be back?" Sinead questioned sassily, a twinge of annoyance in her voice.

And then... Amy wasn't there. She was one moment, sitting there with a satisfied smirk on her face; the next there was just thin empty air.

Sinead gaped in shock and grabbed the knife from the bed, holding it over her wrist.

**~lovelovelove~**

Carter came into her room the next morning with a cheery smile on his face as Sinead's huddled on the bed, surrounded by blankets. "Morning, Sunshine!"

"G'morning," Sinead slurred tiredly, her shoulders shaking from cold. "It's freezing in here. What did the idiots do to the heat?"

"Oh, it's not that bad," he laughed, throwing her an extra pair of socks that she slid on immediately. "It should turn on a little later if we're lucky - "

Suddenly, all of the lights in the room blacked out. The little heat that had been exuding from the air vents came to a halt.

"You should know by now," Sinead sighed. "That I'm not a lucky person."

Carter stumbled over to the bed in the dark and sat next to her, looping his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him, soaking up the heat from his skin. "I have an idea," he prompted.

"Oh, yeah?" Sinead muttered, her shivering beginning to slow. "What's that?"

"I can bring in some more blankets for you and then later tonight we can have dinner in your room! I have candles and stuff I could bring!" Carter exclaimed, sounding excited.

At the mention of candles, Sinead perked up a little. She didn't make it obvious though and instead said, "Candles?" in an accusatory kind of voice.

Carter, in the dim light, blushed. "Just for light purposes!"

Sinead laughed slightly and said, "Calm down, I know what you meant. And that sounds great."

**~lovelovelove~**

Later that night, after Sinead had dinner with Carter, she was sitting in the corner of her room with her hands over her ears, trying to block out the world. Everything seemed too harsh...too loud...to real and bright and in her face. The white walls and carpets were hurting her eyes and the nonexistent lights of her room were giving her a headache.

Blanket wrapped around herself, she kept her eyes shut tight in the darkened room, waiting for Amy to show up and tell her what to do next. Thoughts trickled haphazardly through her head as she kept herself curled into a ball. While Carter had been there she had been able to keep herself together, but now she just wanted to scream at the top of her lungs.

Her plastic knife sat next to her tauntingly. But Sinead couldn't bear to look at it, let alone use it. The white was too bright. Everything was too bright.

"Hey, Sinead."

Sinead looked up from her curled up position at Amy, who was leaning against the wall in front of her, twirling her hair. Her mouth was twisted into a smirk-like smile that would have made Ian Kabra jealous. "I have the candles."

Amy barked out a laugh. "I wouldn't be here if you didn't have them, sweetie. How's Doctor Hottie?"

"He's fine. We had dinner," Sinead replied shortly, twisting the wick of the candle impatiently. Goose-bumps rose under her sweat-shirt as her arm was removed from the blanket. "What's next to get out of this place?"

Her friend (was that what she was?) rolled her eyes and sat down across from Sinead. "Have you got any new info?"

"No," she snapped back. "I don't exactly question my boyfriend on stuff like that. I don't want to drive him away and then not get any information from him."

Amy's gaze seemed to light up the room as she snickered. "Boyfriend, is he? I suppose that changes things. Do you still want to leave?"

Sinead's cheeks flushed red as she growled, "Of course I do! He's just a part of the plan." She thought sadly of the conversations they'd had and wondered if that was true. Was there more to their seemingly platonic relationship?

"Have you kissed him yet, Sinead?" Amy whispered teasingly. "Have you?"

"No," Sinead replied, fixing her position in the blankets so she was more comfortable. "He says he doesn't want to take things too fast."

"You've been dating for two weeks, I don't think that's too fast," Amy said in a stuck up way, her nose in the air.

"Shut up," is what Sinead wanted to say but instead opted with, "He doesn't want me to feel pressured. And I don't. He's the nicest person I know."

Amy snorted in disbelief. "You should know by now, Sinead, that niceness gets you nowhere in this world."

**~lovelovelove~**

Sinead listened to the next part of the plan with a strange feeling in her stomach. It felt a bit like anxiety but not quite as persistent - nearly excited. But more scared. Amy whispered the plan to her with excited breaths puffing into the air every few seconds as she relayed the information.

"You in, Sinead?" she asked at the end.

She hesitated, thinking of Carter. His warm brown eyes and soft, tufty brown hair that was wonderful to play with. His safe embrace and the way he looked at her like she meant the world to him. Finally, she nodded. "He's just a Vesper. They don't have real feelings."

"Exactly," Amy replied, standing up and pointing at the candles, match, and the knife. "I'll be here tomorrow night. Don't be weird about it. Tomorrow, we get you out of here."

Morning came and the lights were turned on. Morning went. Sinead cut. Sinead avoided Carter. She didn't eat much. She thought a lot. Finally, Amy showed her face again.

"Hey, dude," she said when she reappeared inside of Sinead's room, biting into an apple. "Ready to do this thing?"

Sinead gulped nervously and picked up the knife hesitantly. "I suppose so."

"Good," Amy said, wiping her hands on her jeans. The apple had disappeared into thin air. "Grab the candles and stuff and let's go."

"Wait - won't you help me carry these things?" Sinead asked, balancing the five or six candles in her arms, the knife and matches in her hoodie pocket.

Her friend turned to her with an eyebrow raised. "You know I can't do that," she said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It'd fall right to the ground. Anyways, you're ready for this?"

Sinead nodded, feeling slightly sick to her stomach. "Are you sure that Carter is the source of the problem?"

Amy snorted in exasperation as they left the room, watching Sinead trip over herself to hold the door open. "Duh. Why do you think he's the one who had to get close to you?"

Sinead felt her heart snap in two. "You think he never actually loved me?"

"You know that Vespers don't show real emotion," Amy scoffed. "It was only a distraction, anyway. To get you to agree. Honestly - they thought they could trick you into believing that you're a patient from a mental hospital!?"

She put on a cold and indifferent front as she responded smoothly, "Of course they could never convince me of that. I'm Sinead Starling, idiots. A genius Ekat."

Amy grinned like a crocodile as they turned the corner to Carter's office. He was the head doctor of the facility, though he had bosses above him who worked in other places. He basically ran the entire hospital along with a staff of over a hundred people.

Sinead liked them all. They seemed nice. And yeah, she kind of loved Carter too. But now that Amy had told her the plan, there was no backing out. They opened the office, which was a wide room with plush blue carpet and a lot of square shapes and leather, and set the candles around the room. Sinead lit each of the candles and turned off the lights before sitting in the center of the room, in front of a large wooden desk.

"He should be here soon," Amy alerted Sinead. She glanced down at the desk (since she was standing) and exclaimed, "Look! A real pocket knife!"

Sinead shot up and snatched the knife from the table, savoring the cool touch of the stone handle. "We're using it," she informed Amy, flicking open the blade. It was a good four inches long made from some shiny metal.

"Well, duh." Amy rolled her eyes.

Suddenly, there was a click as the door handle twisted open. Amy winked and then did her disappearing act, vanishing from the room without a trace. Sinead gripped the knife hard.

**~lovelovelove~**

"Sinead, what are you doing in here?" Carter asked, kneeling down in front of Sinead with a smile. "I was about to come and see you."

"I'm sure you were," Sinead responded coldly. "Sit down."

As though it was some sort of amusing game, Carter took his time to sit down with his legs folded over in a criss-cross position. "What's up?" he prompted after giving her a hug.

Sinead growled and threw him off, ignoring the pang of sadness as he let go of her. "I have a surprise for you."

Carter quirked an eyebrow and looked around at the candles. "Sinead, I don't think that this is a good idea - "

"Not that kind of surprise!" Sinead gasped in shock and embarrassment.

"Oh." Carter looked obviously relieved. "Good. What's this 'surprise'?"

Sinead grinned and said, "Close your eyes."

With a small smile he shut his eyes and asked quietly, "How's your day been?"

"Oh, be quiet," Sinead teased as Amy appeared in from of her. "I'll tell you after."

Her friend mouthed the words, "Go ahead," with an amused look on her face.

Sinead took a nervous breath and held the side of the blade at an angle on Carter's neck, not touching it. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she sat there on her knees, Amy glaring down at her, urging to do it. The blood was rushing to her head as adrenaline raced through her veins like a poison. Her arm shook as she moved her hand just the slightest...

Carter's phone went off, ringing like crazy, the noise disturbing the otherwise silent room. Sinead went to pull the knife back as Amy disappeared, but she wasn't quick enough. His eyes flew open and he jerked back.

"Sinead, what are you doing!?" he shouted, launching himself forward to grab the knife from her.

She ducked and whimpered in sadness, unable to stop herself as she lurched forward with the knife. The blade sliced into his shoulder and a leak of blood spurted out, staining the shirt.

"Sinead?" Carter gasped, grabbing at his shoulder. He didn't look mad in the least, just horribly confused and bewildered. His hands fumbled to grab the phone. "I don't want to hurt you, but I will if I have to. What's going on?"

His warm brown eyes were bright from the pain.

Sinead felt tears pushing at the back of her eyelids. "Amy told me to!" she blurted out. "We know you're a Vesper and how you loving me is all a fake!"

Carter gaped in shock as his hand hovered over the phone's call button. "Amy's back?"

Sinead cocked her head to the side and held the knife tightly. "What do you mean?"

Amy reappeared behind Carter, who had switched places with Sinead and was now standing in front of the desk. Her eyes were wild as she shook her head and shouted, "Don't listen to anything he says!"

"I won't!" Sinead replied hotly, unsure whether to follow through with the plan. "Should I do it?"

Carter looked around madly. "Are you talking to her now?!"

Amy nodded vigorously. "Do it!"

"Of course I'm speaking to her - she's right behind you, idiot!" Sinead snapped, stepping forward with a knife.

Carter pressed a button on his phone and it began to ring. Amy screamed in anger and Sinead jumped forward at Carter, he fear and uncertainty gone. This Vesper was the reason she was in this mess!

"Amy's not really here, Sinead!" Carter yelled as he dodged Sinead. "She's all a figment of your imagination!"

Sinead yelped. "You're wrong! She's right there!"

"You were diagnosed with schizophrenia, Bipolar, depression, anorexia, psychosis, and dementia a two years ago Sinead!" Carter explained as he moved out of the way of another one of Sinead's attacks. "But your family brought you here and you took medicine and somewhere along the way, we fell in love!"

Sinead felt tears leaking out of her eyes. "You're lying," she sobbed, throwing herself at him again.

Amy was livid, ranting about Carter and using an insane expanse of bad language.

"I'm not, Sinead," Carter said, his eyes mournful. "This really is your life. About six months after you were admitted here, you would wake up after a night of vivid dreams and claim you were being held hostage. At first, it was by the other Cahills, and then you were in a hospital for a bomb collapse, and then you were captured by the Vespers these last two times. Your friend Amy Cahill seemed to be a made up version of your old friend Marie."

Against her better judgement, Sinead stopped and listened. "What?" she breathed. "You must be lying. Why aren't I still on medication then?"

Carter was beginning to pant from the labor of breathing. The cut wasn't deep, but it must've been very painful. And it was bleeding a lot. "You are. That cup of pills you take? But you throw them away so they don't help. And we performed an operation on you that should have helped but..." He shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "I love you Sinead, and I don't want to loose you again."

Sinead went to drop the knife. Amy was jumping up and down and screaming, "SINEAD. DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. HE'S A LYING SNAKE WHO WORKS FOR THE VESPERS. HE NEVER LOVED YOU! EVER!"

Carter's tone of voice was pleading, "Please."

Sinead made up her mind, tears streaming down her face. She pulled the knife to her throat and said, "I guess I loved you, Carter. Don't hate me."

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Amy yelled in triumph. "This is a way out!"

Carter screamed in shock and threw himself at her from the other side of the room. "No, Sinead!"

Then, the door flew open. Three tall doctors ran in with worried expressions, one of which immediately ran over to Carter.

The other two stepped towards Sinead, grabbing her elbow and making her drop the knife. "Stop!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "Let me GO!"

Then, there was the prick of a needle in her arm, and everything went black. The last thing she saw was Carter's worried, soft, brown eyes staring at her as he cried out in shock...

**~lovelovelove~**

Sinead's eyes fluttered open.

"Sinead, are you okay?" said a familiar voice, which was quickly followed by a concerned face.

Evan Tolliver stared down at Sinead, his deep blue eyes nervous. "You passed out during your shift. Is everything alright?"

Sinead sat up wearily and blinked. Everything about the room seemed normal. Same computers. Same couch. Same televisions. "I'm fine, Evan. How's everything here?"

"Fine!" Evan chirped, pushing up his glasses. "Ian's downstairs pouting about one thing or another and I have to call Amy. Wanna join?"

He smiled in a familiar way. Sinead felt her heart pounding as she shook her head and excused herself from the room, tripping over herself to get to her room. Everything would be normal there.

Her bedroom was just as she had left it before the overly odd dream about the hospital and Carter and Amy... Her bed was in order, so were her clothes, and even the flower bouquet was the same as it had been.

Sinead took a few deep breaths before laying down on her bed. Everything felt oddly surreal, like it was a dream. A dream... dreaming normally sounded nice. Very, very nice.

Her eyes were drifting shut before she wanted them to.

**~lovelovelove~**

Her arms were pressed against cool sheets. She could tell before she opened her eyes. Where was she?

Sinead's eyes flew open, only to be immediately met with a pair of soft, chocolatey brown ones. "Sinead?" the man above her asked nervously. His voice was as smooth as his eye color and he sounded young, nearly her age.

"Who are you?" Sinead asked, slightly freaked out. Why did this guy look so familiar? Where was this place? "Where am I?"

The man sighed sadly, tears springing to his eyes as he avoided her gaze. "My name is Doctor Carter Japson. Welcome to Sisoh Cysp hospital. Do you remember anything?"

Sinead's sat bolt upright, looking around a sterile white room that seemed oddly familiar, as though maybe from a dream she had dreamt. "No! Why am I here!?" Suddenly, her heart almost stopped. "Are you a Vesper?"

Doctor Japson gulped and a lone tear fell onto his cheek. "I'm not a Vesper... but it's a long story."

"I have time," Sinead growled, backing up against the bed's head-board. "Just start with how I got here."

Doctor Japson sighed. "Sinead, it all started two years ago..."

**Dang. 6,924 words WITHOUT this author's note or the title and stuff. O.O**

**So yeah, this is my entry for Gone Angel's December contest. I wasn't gonna post this originally, but I figured, "Hey, why not? Worst I can do is lose." I ended up hating this. Like, a lot. I love the idea and all but the way I executed it sort of sucked... What do you think?**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D**

**~Dani ;)**


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